Hello all,

I've been promising myself to come and write about Edinburgh and Meat Day before I forget all about both, so here goes:

Meat Day:

I turned 26 on the 10th of August and am now only four years away from 30 and an increased possibility of dying alone. Especially, I am reliably informed, if I continue to leave wet towels on the bed instead of hanging them up properly. However, more importantly than my increased age, five white hairs (the hairdresser actually Mentioned them), and vein on one leg, my mother sent me a gorgeous box of organic, beautifully butchered meat. It arrived at work, scaring the hell out of Brenda the receptionist and proved far too large to fit in our crappy work fridge. Since the library is by far the coldest place in our windowless, factory-aired sauna of an office, I was obliged to store the package next to the books and send an email round. "Don't mind the white package beneath the Romances, it's just meat. Please leave it alone."

I eventually made it home (turns out a massive, white, polystyrene crate will ensure you a seat on a carriage even when people are too grumpy to form whole words), and discovered a fabulous mix of lots of mini-cuts for me to test out. I was deeply, incredibly happy, and have therefore decided to make a concerted effort to document what I do with each bit of meat. That first evening I picked the pork burgers. They were the kind of pork burgers I've never had before - they were pure, beautiful, juicy meat all the way through. They took longer to cook than I'd imagined as there was simply so much meat to cook through- turns out breadcrumbs and bits of nostril cook far faster than real meat. I fried them on a medium heat for about 20 mins.

With the pork burgers, I made mushrooms and broccoli with soy sauce, chilli and 5-spice. It was a bit salty, so remember not to over soy sauce it (one table spoon is easily enough), and also made a quick version of dauphinoise potatoes (par boil the potatoes first, then slice thinly. Fry up some onions and garlic in a saucepan. Rub a bit of butter round an oven proof dish then layer in potatoes, onions and garlic, herbs of choice and salt and pepper. Repeat this until the dish is full, then pour over some full cream milk, about a third up the side of the dish. Grate parmesan or cheddar over the top, and whack it in the oven at about gas 5 for at least 20 mins. Par-boiling isn't ideal, as makes the texture a bit mushy, and ideally you want to be cooking the potatoes in the milk. However, it is quicker!). It was actually extremely yummy.

Tonight, I've defrosted the lamb noisettes. There are four, and they are beautiful. The plan is to fry them to medium rare (they are quite small) make a roasted garlic, wine and redcurrant sauce from some of the pan juices, wilt some spinach and serve with mustard mash. We shall see how it goes, and if I manage to serve it before 11pm...

As to Edinburgh, we've just got back after four exhausting but extremely fun days of watching endless stand up, sketches and theatrical attempts. It was fantastic, and also fantastically expensive, but never mind. We saw: "Do We Look Like Refugees?" a fantastic play where the actors could hear the voices of the original interviewees through headphones and had to repeat them exactly, leaving no room for artifice and effectively turning the actor into a mouthpiece rather than an interpreter. Sounds incredibly pretentious, but actually was Brilliant - made far more difference than I had imagined. Also saw Frisky and Manish again (insane pop mash up couple who are ridiculously talented and could carve up Girls Aloud and eat them medium rare for dinner. Although most people could probably do that). Sammy J was really good - sweet, funny little songs and a sweet, incredibly hot and long-legged man who you wanted to take home and cuddle for ever more. Cabaret Whore - the most beautiful woman alive - incidentally, Fish and I have both come back from Edinburgh deeply in love, but with other people - who moved smoothly through four different incarnations while occasionally playing a ukelele (an unexpected theme of the festival, as happens in Edinburgh when all the acts suddenly seem to hook onto a particular thing, Inception jokes being another one). David O'Docherty, a very appealing Irish man during whose act I fell a bit asleep, but who was really talented and the lovely, archaically-voiced Miles Jupp. *sighs happily. His voice could cut diamonds - screw glass. Finally, saw a free play that was very worth mentioning: called The Flat, it was mainly notable for some fantastic portraits of archetypes, particularly when it came to sharing a flat with girls. 'Like, I don't want to be a bitch, but has someone been at my John Frieda shampoo again? It's not, like a massive deal, but it is really expensive, and like, I just think it's a bit out of order...' Sharing flats with girls involves gritted teeth and picking endless clumps of hair out of the bath - give me a smelly man and free sex any day. Though I admit I miss the occasional unexpected nights of white wine and sofas, still probably worth it in the long run.

Right, on that uninspiring ending, I've just realised the time. Shit. Now really do not have long to cook at all if I'm to beat the 11pm deadline... *runs.