Am in the middle of cooking braised pig cheeks. All is going well, except that I have once again chosen a recipe without reading all the way to the bottom. In this case, the stumbling block lies about three quarters of the way down, 'Place in the oven for four hours.' Somehow skipped that bit, and now have a friend coming over at 7.30. *sigh. As always, it looks like no one will eat till midnight. On the good side, there's nothing which will gain you a reputation as a good cook more successfully than starving your guests before you feed them.

Quite a bit later now, and the pig is finally in the oven. Poor Lucy. Am listening, sort of against my will but seem to have been hypnotised, to Jon Benson, a man with a very persuasive voice talking about the 'Every Other Day Diet'. I don't diet. I don't plan to until I become hugely fat, as that is certainly what it will take before I have enough will power to actually do anything. I'll stick to cooking things so slowly that I fall asleep before managing to eat them. God this man's voice is seductive though. Why are Americans so much better at sounding charming and friendly than English people? The English accent (the posh one) carries along with it an automatic, 'This is my personal space. Yours is over there. No. A bit further. Yes, over there.' In contrast this American man's voice says, 'Come over here! Yes you! Here, take this glass of port. Sit down at my feet and relax... That's right. Now, isn't that better? Hmm? And only $30 a month to feel this good...' Wow. Amazing - he just slipped an 'expert opinion' in - Dr. Holly Menson, N.D. Jon Benson, I salute you. Go here http://www.everyotherdaydiet.com/video.php for one of the sneakiest sales pitches around. Just remember - don't look directly into his eyes or all your fat will turn to stone...